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成都雅思培训老师解析7月28日大作文范文,同学们应该记牢的点!

来源:成都新航道学校      浏览:      发布日期:2018-08-02 13:40

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2018年7月28日雅思考试中,大作文的主题为:改造好的犯人是给学生宣讲犯罪危害的人选吗?

题目:Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

面对这类题型的作文,同学该如何构思,怎么写作?成都雅思培训新航道的唐老师作了以下分析。

一、解题 审题

青少年犯罪是全球性的话题,大家都在思考:为什么青少年会犯罪?为什么青少年犯罪逐年增加?青少年犯罪后到底该如何惩罚?这些话题也都是雅思考试中的热门话题。唐老师总结了一下近几年雅思作文中关于犯罪的话题,列举如下:

Young people who commit serious crimes, such as a robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2015/4/25;2015/6/18; 2013/11/9)青少年犯罪是否该受到与成年人一样的惩罚?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some people think that they are the best people to talk to school students the danger of committing a crime. Do you agree or disagree? (2015/8/8) 请改造过后的犯人给学生讲犯罪的危害,可否?

People are afraid to leave their homes for fear of crimes. Some people believe that more action should be taken to prevent crimes while others think that little could be done. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. (2015/8/29; 2012/11/3) 我们已经没有办法阻止犯罪吗?

Children are committing more crimes. What are the causes? How to punish them? (2014/8/2; 2010/8/5) 儿童犯罪增多的原因,怎样处罚他们?

Some think most crime is the result of circumstances e.g. poverty and other social problems. Other believe that most crime is caused by people who are bad by nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.(2014/11/8) 犯罪的原因到底是社会原因还是人性原因?

In most countries,prison is an effective solution to the problem of crime. Some people think it is a more effective solution to provide education for those who violate the law. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (2012/5/12;2018/3/3) 还有比监狱更好的办法来解决犯罪问题吗?

A recent newspaper article report that a 14 years old boy who seriously destroyed his school got a punishment to clean streets instead of being sent to the prison, Do you think this is right, or the young criminals should be sent to the jail? (2016/1/14) 青少年损坏公物后被罚扫街,这种处罚合适吗?

回到今天的考题,这个题目是2015年8月8日的原题重现。题目类型是“你是否同意办法A是解决B问题的途径?”,类似的题目很多,比如:“提高车价是解决交通问题的办法吗?”

对于这类问题,我们一般做法都是先承认办法的可取之处,然后提出其存在的问题,甚至提出其他更好的办法。Ok,请改造好的犯人回来给青少年讲犯罪的危险,这个肯定是个好办法,因为这些犯人有亲身经历,现身说法,自然最有说服力,也讲得更为形象,而且经过改造,他们对犯罪可能造成的危害也理解得更加深刻。但是(这类题目一定要论述“但是”这个部分!),从另外一个方面讲,这些犯人虽然已经改造好了,但毕竟曾经是犯人,对于尚不能完全分辨是非的青少年(teenagers)来说(注意,teenagers是本题另外一个关键词),可能会产生非常不好的感觉,比如青少年可能会歧视这些人,从而让其宣讲的效果大打折扣。给青少年普及犯罪的危害还有其他办法:阅读书籍、观看电影、参观犯罪博物馆,等等。

二、唐老师撰写的7分范文

001

One important part of teenagers’ education is turning them into law-abiding citizens by making them realise the dangers of committing crimes. The best way to do this, as many people would argue, is to have ex-prisoners, who have now become good citizens, talking to teenagers about theirpersonal stories. While I think it may indeed be effective, it may also fail sometimes.   

青少年教育的一个重要部分是让他们认识到犯罪的危险,从而成为守法的公民。在许多人看来,的方法就是让现在已经成为好公民的前囚犯来与青少年谈论他们的个人故事。虽然我认为它可能确实有效,但有时候也可能没有作用。

解析:本段从青少年的教育入题,然后重述题目观点,最后给出自己的观点。 law-abiding 遵纪守法的; personal stories 个人故事;个人经历。

002

Obviously, ex-prisoners are in a better position than anybody else to let teenagers understand the consequences of violating the law. They were personally involved in crimes and know very well how much pain their behavior has inflicted upon the victims and their families. They also know very well how hard their life in prison was and what freedom really means. Compared with the lectures given by the law teachers, the personal stories shared by ex-prisoners are more direct, more powerful emotionally, and thus more effective as an educational tool.

显然,前囚犯比任何人都更能让青少年了解违法的后果。他们亲身参与了犯罪,非常清楚他们的行为给受害者及其家人带来的痛苦。他们也非常清楚他们在监狱里的生活有多艰难,自由到底意味着什么。与法律老师的讲课相比,前囚犯分享的个人故事更直接,情感上更有力度,因此是更有效的教育工具。

解析:本段分析前囚犯讲述个人经历可能有效的原因,本段使用了比较法。in a position to do... 能够做......;violate the law 违法; be involved in... 卷入......;inflict pain on/upon... 给......带来痛苦。

003

Nevertheless, having a former prisoner standing face to face with a group of teenagers may be an awkward scenario in some cases. It is common for people, especially youngsters, to have a fear towards criminals, particularly those who have committed violent crimes. Very naturally, teenagers may develop a strong distrust of the former criminals and so they will not listen to their stories, however interesting these stories might be. That is why many schools would have policemen, instead of former prisoners, giving law lessons to their students, because to teenagers, policemen are much more trustworthy. 

然而,在某些情况下,让一名前囚犯与一群青少年面对面可能是一种尴尬的情景。人们,特别是年轻人,对罪犯(特别是那些曾犯下暴力罪行的罪犯)感到恐惧是很常见的。很自然,青少年可能会对以前的罪犯产生强烈的不信任,所以他们不会听他们讲故事,无论这些故事多么有趣。这就是为什么许多学校会请警察,而不是以前的囚犯,来给他们的学生上法律课,因为对青少年来说,警察要值得信赖得多。

解析:本段论述让前囚犯来讲个人经历为什么有时候没有作用。scenario 场景;distrust 不信任;trustworthy 值得信赖的。

004

In conclusion, teenagers’ ability to tell right from wrong is important to themselves as well as the entire society. By listening to the personal stories of former prisoners, youngsters may be touched and become more conscious ofthe consequences of committing crimes, yet alternative measures should be found when this does not work out. 

总之,青少年辨别是非的能力对他们自己和整个社会都很重要。通过听前囚犯的个人故事,青少年可能会被感动,从而更多地意识到犯罪的后果,但是,当这种做法行不通时,就应该找到其他的措施。

解析:本段是结论。 be conscious of... 意识到......;明白......;alternative 替换的;其他的;work out 行得通;可行。

三、范文中可背诵的句子

1. One important part of teenagers’ education is turning them into law-abiding citizens by making them realise the dangers of committing crimes.青少年教育的一个重要部分是让他们认识到犯罪的危险,从而成为守法的公民。

2. Compared with the lectures given by the law teachers, the personal stories shared by ex-prisoners are more direct, more powerful emotionally, and thus more effective as an educational tool.与法律老师的讲课相比,前囚犯分享的个人故事更直接,情感上更有力度,因此是更有效的教育工具。

3. Very naturally, teenagers may develop a strong distrust of the former criminals and so they will not listen to their stories, however interesting these stories might be.很自然,青少年可能会对以前的罪犯产生强烈的不信任,所以他们不会听他们讲故事,无论这些故事多么有趣。

4. By listening to the personal stories of former prisoners, youngsters may be touched and become more conscious of the consequences of committing crimes, yet alternative measures should be found when this does not work out. 通过听前囚犯的个人故事,青少年可能会被感动,从而更多地意识到犯罪的后果,但是,当这种做法行不通时,就应该找到其他的措施。

以上就是新航道成都雅思培训唐老师对2018年7月28日雅思考试中大作文范文给的解析,希望对同学们有帮助!如果你想提升你的写作技巧,欢迎关注成都新航道学校,有什么疑问都可以在线咨询客服!

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